A Beginner’s Guide to Homeschooling
Dear new homeschooler,
Five years ago, I was in your shoes. My child was in public school but it had become very clear – halfway through first grade – that school was not a good fit. Her mental health was suffering and she had severe anxiety, among other behaviors and challenges.
I spent those five months of first grade watching my child struggle, talking to every homeschooler I knew, crying myself to sleep, and petrified to take the leap. Even though we had considered homeschooling from the beginning, it seemed overwhelming and like there'd be no turning back, ever.
Maybe you have a child who is struggling. Bedtime fights, morning meltdowns, school refusal? Are you tired of being the Homework Enforcer?
Or maybe you just feel in your gut that you want more time with your kids, that their childhood is slipping away.
Maybe your child is being bullied. Maybe there are learning challenges that need support, but the support isn't helping.

I'm here to tell you that making the choice to homeschool could be life changing for your family.
It was for ours. Night and day.
By the way? We found out later, much later, that my precious daughter is 2e (twice exceptional). She's gifted, autistic, ADHD, and a few other uniquenesses. For her, getting through school equaled masking (with its corresponding decline in mental health, anxiety, and post-school meltdowns) and she is very, very sure she never wants to set foot in a school again.
Whatever your story, I'd like to encourage you that homeschooling is a viable option and could actually be the best decision you ever make for you and your kids.
What is homeschooling anyway?
Homeschooling, or home education, is an alternative to public schooling and is legal in all 50 states.
It's important to know that homeschooling is different from public school learn-at-home programs, parent partnership programs, or other alternative learning programs offered through public school systems. Although a student in one of these programs may indeed complete their schoolwork at home, they are not homeschoolers in the legal sense.
Homeschoolers are students who have been withdrawn from public or private school and all educational decisions are made by the parents.
By the way – zoom school, pandemic school, and other learn-at-home measures created by public schools over the past couple of years are NOT homeschooling. That's important because I know, for a lot of families, pandemic school was a nightmare.
Homeschooling doesn't have to look anything like a full day of zoom calls.
Why is homeschooling important?
The legal right to homeschool, and for parents and students to be able to choose homeschooling, is incredibly important.
There are multitudes of reasons why public schooling may not be ideal for a child. Here are some stories I have heard from homeschooling families:
- A child has chronic or sudden medical issues and physically cannot manage school. Many families have been threatened with truancy for missing too many days, even when a child has documented medical concerns.
- A child has dealt with bullying or other social issues that have not been resolved by the school.
- Families have the opportunity to travel because of the parents' work.
- A child's learning is so asynchronous (meaning: kiddo might be at grade level for one subject, “advanced” in another, and “behind” in another) that s/he is continually frustrated at school.
- A child struggling with mental health issues finds the demands of school overwhelming and shuts down.
- A child with learning challenges cannot get complex needs met, even with an IEP or other learning plan.
- Autistic children have some particularly distressing stories: being put into locked “calm down rooms,” having police called, or worse.
It's not always a negative experience with school, though. Sometimes, families choose to homeschool simply to have more time with their children. Some families also wish to include a religious or spiritual component to their child(ren)'s education.
Families of kids who are exceptional athletes, dancers, or who are actors at a young age often homeschool to allow their kids to train and follow those passions!
OK, but really. How do I start homeschooling?
1. Do your research and understand your state's homechooling laws.
This is really important. Without doing your due diligence and following your state's laws, you're not homeschoolers – you're truant public schoolers. Don't do that!
Homeschool.com has an excellent page with state-by-state homeschooling requirements in a handy table. They also have a page listing local homeschooling groups by state. Local Facebook homeschooling groups are where you can find all the details, too.
2. Withdraw your kidlet(s) from school.
In our state, I had to write a letter of withdrawal and file a Declaration of Intent to Homeschool with the superintendent of our local schools. Find out what is necessary, and do it.
There are a few states in the northeast that have more stringent homeschool requirements, and require approval of plans before even withdrawing your child.
I already mentioned local Facebook homeschooling groups – but they are where you find other parents who are on the path and can explain how everything works. Find 'em. Join 'em.
3. Dust off your library card.
You don't have to buy curriculum right now. I repeat: do not spend money on curriculum right now. You'll 100% for sure buy something that's perfect for your learning style, and not your kid(s). Ask me how I know.

Take a trip to the library and load up on books, audio books, movies, CDs, and magazines your kids are interested in. Congratulations! You have started homeschooling and have your first curriculum all ready to go.
Yep, it really is that simple.
4. Let those kids catch up on a lot of sleep.
Seriously. Don't try to keep school hours. Especially if you have a tween or teen. Let. Them. Sleep. Watch the magic of how they become more able to manage emotions, less cranky, more fun to be around.
Here's a good starting schedule for new homeschoolers:
Wake up
Have breakfast
Play some video games
Watch a cool documentary with lunch
Go on a walk
Read some books and talk about them
Do some crafts or research projects they'd like to get into
Make dinner together
Watch a movie or funny reality show together
Stay up late because you can
Repeat
Have you picked your jaw up off the floor? Kim, where's the math? Where's the STEM? Where's the academic rigor?
Look, there's plenty of time for that, IF that's the direction you want your homeschool to go. The first few months are not where that's going to happen, though. You and your kids have to get used to a whole new way of living together. Let's do that first.
5. Read my post about getting started as a homeschooler.
Everything I wish I'd known five years ago, I put in this post for you.
6. Take a few months and deschool. Pretend you're on vacation.
Homeschooling is a BIG CHANGE. It's a change in the very fabric of your family life. It's also a change in the way your kids are going to be learning… no more classrooms of 20 people and one teacher.
In the homeschool world, we use the term deschooling to talk about this transition period and the sort of paradigm shift that goes along with it. Often, the kids have a much smoother process than the parents.
For me, the best deschooling happened when I thought about being on vacation or simply filling our days with joy. What special breakfast could I cook? How about we stay in pajamas and watch our favorite movies all day since it's pouring rain outside? What about being a tourist in your own town? Visit museums, art galleries, parks.
Ask your kids what would be fun. Some new legos or a new video game? Trying out that new restaurant that opened? Maybe a weekend trip if you can swing it in the budget (we like Great Wolf Lodge)?
The rule of thumb is one month of deschooling for every year your kiddo was at school. I find that to be the very minimum. Depending on your kid, whether school was traumatic for them… it could be a process that takes many more months or even a couple of years.
Frequently Asked Questions
The last thing you need to know about homeschooling
You can totally do this. You really can.
Learn your state's requirements, then pull those kiddos out of school, load up on library books, and get some cozy new jammies. Connect with local homeschoolers – Facebook groups are a great way to start.
YOUR TURN! Comment below what questions you have that I didn't answer, or tell your story of making the decision to homeschool!